


What Is and What Should Never Be

by somethingtreeish



Category: British Actor RPF, Colin Firth - Fandom
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Plug, BDSM, Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Oral Sex, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-04-04 21:58:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4154517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingtreeish/pseuds/somethingtreeish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Colin and Harper have an understanding. </p><p>(This fic is AU. In it, Colin Firth is a terminal bachelor type who dates around a lot but has never settled down. He's never been married, doesn't have kids, etc. I had an itch I needed scratched so here we are.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Battle of Evermore

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for rough sex stuff. I'm not an expert on D/s relationships and I'm pretty sure this is pretty tame stuff but be forewarned! If you have any constructive crit I'd love to hear it!

_Oh, well, the night is long,_  
_The beads of time pass slow._  
_Tired eyes on the sunrise,_  
_Waiting for the eastern glow._  
**The Battle of Evermore - Led Zeppelin**

**Part I**

Even through the dim lights of the pub Harper can feel him watching her which is why she is now giving her biggest, most innocent eyes to an older gentleman at the bar. He is round and slightly squat with not much in the way of a neck. She could tell by his suit and watch that he has money, his suit being well-tailored around his rotund features. He smells of bourbon, cigars, and money, but then so did every man in this bar. She frequents this place often, not because she's seeking out a rich husband, but because her friend works here and gives her free drinks. Colin doesn't need to know that though, so she continues to flirt in the pleasantly dim lighting, her view partially obscured by smoke and the three drinks she's already consumed.

Harper suggestively works her straw, swirling her tongue around it to pull it into her mouth and puckering her plump, wine-colored lips around it before drinking in the sweet, bright pink liquid. The man she's chatting up pauses in his speech at her show, but clears his throat and continues talking about his holdings and other business-y stuff she doesn't care about. As she feigns interest, she hears a ping from her cherished Chloe bag, a gift from the man staring at her from across the pub. She smiles, apologizing as she daintily fishes it out of her bag. 

"Work, surely you know how it is," Harper says sweetly as she checks the text. 

"A girl as pretty as you shouldn't have to work," the man says, leering at her chest. 

Harper just manages to keep the smile on her face. "Indeed." 

- _Harper._

- _Colin._

- _Don't be cute. I know that you know I'm here._

- _Oh, are you? I was talking to my friend and didn't notice. He's very nice. Can't stop staring at my tits._

- _Harper. Meet me outside, now._

- _Make me :)_

Across the room, she knows Colin is fuming. She loves making him jealous this way, playing this game with him. The more she winds him up the better it will be for the both of them later. Smiling at the thought, she slides her phone back inside of her bag and apologizes once more to her friend. She gently places a hand on his arm. "So, where were we? I believe we were discussing your yacht in Greece? I hear it's lovely there this time of year." 

As the man drones on about his real estate holdings, Harper's mind begins to drift elsewhere. Surely Colin should be headed this way by now? She has a wild thought that maybe he's actually left her here before she notices that the man has stopped talking and is staring wide-eyed at something behind her. 

"You're that bloke from the movies." He tries, and fails, at not sounding impressed. 

"I'm afraid I am. I need to borrow your friend for a moment if you don't mind. We've got some business to attend to." 

"Sure, sure. I'll be waiting, gorgeous." He winks at Harper. 

Colin nods at the man, putting his hand on Harper's lower back as he guides her with command out of the pub. She can tell by the hard pressure of his warm fingers that he's not at all happy. She tries not to act too gleeful. 

The hour is late and outside the London traffic is still; the sound of taxis picking up other late night revelers soundtracks the air. Harper can hear other people leaving, patting each other on the back and wishing each other a good night. The pavement is still wet from the downpour hours earlier. Colin steers her from stepping straight into a puddle but when she looks up to thank him he simply stares at her, the tightness in his jaw turning her on. 

"Something wrong, Sir?" 

Colin doesn't answer the question but opens the door. "Get in the car," he commands. 

She hastens to obey him; her lust feeds off his anger. "Yes, Sir." Climbing into the car, the backs of her bare legs slide smoothly across the buttery leather of his seats. She settles in comfortably, forgoing fastening her seatbelt so that he'll fasten it for her. His touches are hard to come by when he's like this; she must take advantage of every opportunity that she can. 

Entering the car, Colin huffs at seeing Harper without her seatbelt on. "Honestly, Harper. It's as if you're trying to piss me off." Reaching across her lap, he pulls the buckle of the seatbelt to the fastener, making sure to graze his fingers across the tops of her thighs. "You could have worn a shorter skirt," he says as the seatbelt clicks. 

"Would you like me to next time?" Harper asks demurely, gooseflesh raised on her skin from his brief touch. 

"Yes," he rumbles. Colin bites his lip as he pulls out into the sparse late night traffic. Harper smiles serenely and stares out the window. She watches the wet roads as they pass by, illuminated by the street lights as she imagines what might happen once they reach Colin's flat. It's been weeks since they've seen each other. He's been out of town, out in California for an awards ceremony, spreading his seed across the state if the gossip magazine covers she was subjected to at WH Smiths' last week are any indication. 

Unable to cope with the silence, Colin breaks first. "Did the man you were talking to do anything for you, Harper? Was he getting you wet?" 

"Oh yes, I've always wanted a big, hairy, rich daddy to take care of me for the rest of my life," Harper answers sarcastically. 

"Don't take that tone with me, Harper. Let me see. Spread your legs and let me feel your cunt." 

"But what if someone sees?" Harper asks innocently, knowing full well she's going to do it anyway. 

"Let me worry about that," he says gently, shifting gears again. 

Slowly, Harper hitches her skirt up over her thighs and spreads her legs, becoming increasingly aroused as the cool air touches her most intimate areas. 

"Take the gears," he commands, staring resolutely at the road. She obeys as his long fingers gently traverse to her exposed cunt. His fingers explore around the entrance of her soft, slightly damp skin as Harper tries to remain composed, fighting the urge to thrust against his hand. "Dry, as I suspected. But he doesn't know how my dirty girl likes to be touched, does he? He doesn't know the depraved things you like to do with your Colin." Harper gasps as a finger slides inside her and calls out the wetness that's been gathering since she felt Colin's eyes on her in the pub. "There's my girl." Colin plays within her for a few seconds before slowly removing his fingers and bringing them to his lips. She swears she sees a small smile before his face is stern once more. "Now cover yourself and be quiet until we've reached our destination. 

"Yes, Sir," she answers. 

With a hasty rearranging of her skirt, Harper sits primly in her seat for the rest of the journey, her insides buzzing from Colin's touch. From the beginning of their arrangement, his touch has electrified her and tonight is no different. When they arrive at Colin's place, she smiles to herself to hear the familiar sound of the tires crunching in the gravel drive. Once parked, he opens her door wordlessly and guides her into his home. The first time she saw his place she was not surprised at what she saw. It was dark, warm, rich, and stern, just like he was. There were book shelves everywhere, beautiful art, dark in color adorned the walls. The furniture was all burgundy leather and mahogany. He leads her to his small den, which is lit only by a dim lamp and a gas fireplace. 

Colin heads to his chair, pulling a case of cigarettes out of the end table and taking a seat. "Safe word?" 

"Darcy." Harper had picked the safe word as a joke their first time together, knowing how depraved he was compared to the public's version of the dashing Mr. Darcy. He was still dashing, just not in the way they imagined. 

He smirks before his face turns more serious. "Remove your clothes, and ready yourself. You can leave your things in the bathroom. You have five minutes." 

"Yes, Sir." 

Harper saunters into the bathroom, knowing that he's watching her. Once inside, she takes off her clothes, folding them and placing them neatly on the counter before standing in front of his mirror. She brushes through her hair, freshens her lipstick, and powders her face. She takes care cleaning herself, knowing Colin's favorite way to punish her when she's been bad. She takes a deep breath to calm her nervous excitement and goes back to the den to meet her Colin. 

Colin remains in his chair, relaxed, a finger slowly rubbing across his lip. Harper can feel herself growing wetter at the sight of him; her luxurious man, rich and in charge, in his deep burgundy, high-backed leather chair. He stares at her silently, drinking her in. Harper remains still, knowing he'll reprimand her for squirming under his gaze. She's grown so much since they've started this. Finally he breaks the silence. 

"Beautiful, Harper," Colin says, voice soft. 

This attitude raises Harper's suspicions as he has never been this soft in the beginning, normally saving his kind words and platitudes for aftercare. She waits for him to speak. 

Wrapping his large, warm hands around her bare hips, Colin pulls her close. He kisses her beside her navel and she can feel his warm breath fan across her skin. "I want you to try the new plug tonight. I think you're ready."

Harper's eyes widen with slight trepidation and her skin prickles with nerves at holding the large, golden plug inside of her but she knows Colin will take care of her. She looks him in the eye and nods. 

"If you feel any discomfort, use your safe word. All right?" 

She takes a deep breath. "Yes, Sir." 

"On your knees, Harper." His voice is stern now, adopting a more authoritative tone that he knew turned Harper on. "Face on the ground, arse in the air, and spread your legs." 

Harper hastens to get into position, ready to please him, to show him that she can be a good girl for him. She yearns for his approval almost as much as she yearns for his disapproval. She hears the drawer in the end table slide open and close once more, the pop of the lube bottle, and she feels Colin drop to his knees next to her. His hand smooths up her bare back and his hand grasps the back of her neck. She relaxes immediately to feel him touch her, loving the attention. She spreads her legs wider in anticipation. 

"Hands behind your back." Harper obeys, again. The coolness of their silk restraint hits her skin as Colin gently but firmly binds her wrists together. 

"Do you know why you're being punished, Harper?" 

"No, Sir." 

"Lies!" He replaces his hand on her neck and pushes her face harder into the ground and asks again. "Why are you being punished, Harper?" 

"Because I tried to make you jealous," Harper says with a smirk. "Did it work?" 

"Yes, it bloody well worked." His voice is starchy in it's irritation. Harper loves that tone. She can imagine the tightness of his jaw. She throbs, low and dull, between her legs, feeling the warm wetness saturating her. Colin leans closer to her ear and his voice drops very low. "I'm very disappointed in you, Harper. You've made me cross, very cross indeed." 

Harper shudders with want, her arse pushing out to him, ready to take the plug. 

"Well, well, aren't we greedy?" His hand smooths back down her back and to her bottom, slapping it hard before rubbing it gently. "You've always been a greedy little girl, haven't you? Always so ready to take your Colin inside of you however he wants." He slaps her arse again before smoothing over the reddening mark. He continues this pattern, spanking and soothing, until her arse is red all over. 

Harper is practically dripping now, the cool air of the flat blowing against her exposed cunt. She spreads her legs even further and arches her back more, pushing herself into his slaps. Tears of pain and pleasure are falling freely though she keeps quiet by biting into her lip. 

Finally Colin stops and rubs his stinging hand across her reddened skin while grabbing the lube with the other. "There there, sweetheart. I know it stings but it's important that you're punished when you've done wrong. How else will you learn?" He removes his hand from her bottom and smirks when he hears her whimper. With a finger dripping in cool lubricant, Colin begins to pay attention to the tight ring of muscle presenting itself so prettily in front of him.

Harper so loves it when her Colin plays with her arse. She had never considered it before their first time together but now she can't imagine sex without it. She enjoys the feeling of his slick finger sliding around her hole, relaxing her in preparation for the plug. "Oh, Sir, thank you for my punishment. Thank you for teaching me right from wrong." 

"Your punishment is far from over, sweetheart," Colin says, pushing the first finger into her arsehole. "Your training has gone well, Harper. You take me in so easily now, there's hardly any resistance." 

"I can never resist you, Sir." Harper's voice is low and breathy as he inserts another finger to join the first. "Oh, fuck, Sir. You feel so good inside me. Thank you, thank you." 

Colin begins scissoring his fingers inside of her while she moans. When he feels she's ready for the plug he pulls out, much to Harper's disappointment. She whines, "Oh, please, Sir. Please don't stop." 

"Patience, sweetheart." Colin takes the plug, shiny and gold, and coats it in the lube. This plug is bigger than the ones they've used before, five inches in circumference at it's widest point, so it is with great care that he presses the pointy end of the plug into her arsehole and uses the thumb of his clean hand to play with her neglected clit. 

Harper gasps at the warmth of Colin's thumb on her clit and the cold of the metal plug in her arsehole. "Oh, Sir, please." 

Colin presses in with the plug and she opens easily around it, though she feels the stretch as he presses the wider part inside of her. He marvels at how beautifully she spreads for him, her beautiful bum taking the plug in. He leans down to kisses a reddened cheek before seating the plug fully inside her and pulling back to admire the ruby colored jewel on the end.

"How do you feel, Harper?" Colin asks. 

She wriggles around, feeling the way the plug fills her. "Full, but good, Sir." 

"Can you get up?" 

Harper lifts herself onto her knees carefully, her hands still tied behind her back. "Yes, Sir." 

"Wonderful." Colin grabs a pillow from the couch, the lube from the floor, and returns to his chair. He places the pillow at his feet and the lube back in the drawer, grabbing a wet wipe from it before shutting it again. He wipes his hands slowly, staring cooly at Harper as he watches her watch him. "Kneel in front of me, between my legs, knees on the pillow. Stay still; only move or speak when I say." 

"Yes, Sir." And so Harper sits, knees on the pillow; her arms are straight, tied behind her back. Colin pulls a book from the table and begins to read silently. Five minutes in, he starts to run his fingers over her head, stroking her hair in a soft, soothing manner. Every other stroke he runs his nails against her scalp, making Harper's spine tingle pleasantly as she calls upon all of her control to remain silent and still. Every passing minute she finds her wetness increasing; her desire for Colin fires in the depths of her stomach. 

After what feels like an eternity, Colin places his book down on the end table and stands. He steps around Harper and kneels behind her, untying her wrists and kissing her neck. After being avoided, the touch of his lips on her sensitive neck thrills her to her core. She can smell him now, faded Hermes aftershave and Marlboro Reds. The scent comforts her. Once untied, he gently takes hold of her wrists and places them back to her front, massaging them in front of her. "How do you feel?" 

"Fine, Sir." Her voice wobbles with want and desperation. She yearns for him to kiss her, to touch her, to fuck her, but she knows she must be patient. She knows he always takes care of her. She wiggles her bottom slightly, feeling the heavy weight of the plug inside her. 

Colin notices and sighs. "I knew your gorgeous arse would be beautiful wrapped around my toy. You should see yourself from my point of view." One hand moves to her bottom, a finger running around her stretched hole. "So beautiful, my little girl." 

Harper warms further under his compliments. She breathes deep as he touches her around the plug, fighting against the urge to react. 

"You're being so good tonight, sweetheart. Taking your punishment so well. My girl is so grateful, so hungry for it." He slaps her bottom, the burn from before returning two-fold. She jumps and his free arm tightens around her, holding her still. "Tell me, what would you like your reward to be? What does my beautiful, obeying girl want for such good behavior?" 

Harper breaks immediately; her voice a whine. "Your cock, please, Sir. Please fuck me." And with one plea, Harper adds a final, and hopeful, "Please." 

Suddenly, Colin's fingers curl tightly around Harper's hair. She cries out as he teases. "But is there any room for me in your tight little cunt? I'm not sure I could fit with the plug filling you." 

Feeling as if she'll burst with her desperate hunger for him, Harper tries to steady her breathing. The plug is a constant feeling and she enjoys feeling the weight of it within her, knowing it's presence pleases him, but it does nothing to quench the fire she has for him in this moment. He loves letting her wait like this, letting her squirm. She feels as if she is pure need; every part of her screams out for him, wants him inside her, punishing her with his cock. "There's room; there's room," she cries out, begging shamelessly. "Please. Please, Sir. Please." 

"You're so hungry for it," Colin states, followed by a gleeful smile. Harper swears she can hear his lips hum softly in his delight at the state he's managed to leave her in. "You may rise, Harper, and remove my clothing. Fold it nicely and place it on the couch." 

Harper almost falls over herself standing and turning to him. With shaking fingers, she begins unbuttoning his shirt quickly. 

"Steady, girl! You'll pop the buttons off!" Colin shouts. 

"Sorry, Sir," Harper murmurs and slows her pace. Once she frees the last button, she moves to the cuffs of his shirt. She spots his gold and ruby cufflinks and grins, realizing they match the plug in her arse. She removes them slowly and lines them up neatly on the table, before pushing the shirt off of his shoulders and marveling at his bare chest. She must stare for a little too long because in a flash his hand is in her hair again and pulling her head back. 

"Pay. Attention. Fold my shirt before it creases and take off my trousers." He gives a hard tug of her hair again, relishing in the tears that are forming in her eyes. "NOW!" 

Harper scrambles back when he lets go of her hair and gets to work on the rest of Colin's demand. Once he stands bare before her, her mouth waters as she stares at his cock, hard and ready, and waits for more instruction. 

"You're hungry for my cock. Would you like a taste before I fuck you raw with it?"

Trying to remain calm and collected, Harper simply begs. "Please." 

"On your knees in front of me," Colin orders firmly. 

Harper drops, the pain within her knees is spurring her on. She places her hands on the back of his thighs and looks up at him; her eyes wide and pleading as she waits for his permission. 

Colin takes hold of her hair again, gently this time. "You may begin."

She immediately starts to lick up his shaft, relishing the warmth of it on her tongue. He's already so hard for her and she marvels at how calm and in control he's able to stay while her insides feel like a roaring inferno. Harper works her way to his end; her tongue swirls around the head before she takes him into her mouth. He thrusts inside, just a little bit, as she slowly inches his cock deeper. Colin finally moans when he feels the head of his cock slip through her warm, tight throat and feels her gagging around him. She continues to gaze at him, tears streaming down her face. She wore her normal mascara rather than waterproof because she knows Colin loves to see it running down her face as she sobs around him. 

Colin begins to lose his composure when he looks down at her, make up running down her face, eyes wide and wet. "Oh, my sweet beautiful girl. You take my cock so well, so well." Harper glows with pride as he thrusts for a few more seconds before pulling her off by her hair and guiding her to the ground. "Present your arse to me, sweetheart. Show me your cunt." 

Harper obeys, returning to the position she was in earlier when the plug was inserted. Her cunt feels positively swollen, warm, and wet. She'll be surprised if she doesn't come the instant he touches her. She knows he'd be angry; she'll have to work really hard to keep it from happening. 

"Oh, darling, you're dripping. So wet for your Colin. I'm not sure if I should let you come tonight, the way you acted in the pub." 

If for a second she thought he was serious, she would have screamed "Darcy" as loud as she could, but she knew Colin would see her to her end. So Harper begs and pleads like she knows she should. "Oh, please, Sir. I'll be good," she sobs. "I'll be your good girl, Sir, I swear it; just please fuck me." 

She looks over her shoulder to see Colin stroking himself, his eyes betraying the lust his face tries to hide. Her heart swells to see him so ready for her, to see what her compliance can do to him. Despite the emotion evident within him, his voice remains steady. "Since you asked so nicely." As she feels the head rubbing against her clit, she breathes out in relief. 

"Fuck, oh, Sir, please fuck me. Fill me up. Please!"

Losing all control, Colin slams into her. While she screams he roughly grabs her hip with one hand and her hair with another. "Safe-word, Harper." 

She cries out before answering with a weak, "Darcy!" just before he begins to slam into her with a vice grip on her hip and a hard tug on her hair. 

"Fuck, you feel so good around me. Tell me how I feel inside you, Harper. Tell me how much you love my cock filling you, stretching you, while your arse is full to bursting with my plug." He tugs her hair when she doesn't answer immediately. "TELL ME!"

"So good, so good," she sobs out, tears of joy slipping down her eyes. "So good, Sir, don't stop!"

Colin doesn't. He pounds into her, pulling her hair, grinding against her clit, making her cry until he feels her getting close. "Don't you fucking dare come until I say you can." 

What he doesn't know is that Harper has been holding back her orgasm this entire time. She's weak from the effort of it, being on the precipice of pure ecstasy since he first slammed into her. She doesn't speak, knowing that if she does it's over. It takes everything she has to keep it just burning under the surface, her orgasm swirling just there; if only Colin would give her permission. 

Colin pulls her up flush with him, still fucking at his punishing rhythm, now hitting her in a different spot that makes her lose her breath. He wraps an arm around her neck and lifts her face to his. He kisses her hard, his first kiss of the night, his tongue rolling against hers. He can taste her tears and it spurs him on further. He pulls his lips away slightly, his breath still warm against her face. "I could keep fucking you like this for hours, Harper. Holding you back from the brink the entire time. I know you won't come until I say; you're such a good little girl for me." He gives a particularly forceful grind against her that moves the plug around, stimulating her even more. Colin mumbles a "fuck," feeling her begin to swell around him. "Not yet, Harper. Not yet." 

Harper is on the verge of hyperventilating when he lets go of her face to grab her breast and pinch a nipple hard between his fingers. It's too much. Too much stimulation, too much feeling - everything is too much. Her nerves are on fire, her muscles tense with the strain. Finally, Colin leans forward and whispers into her ear: "Now." 

When she lets go of her orgasm she screams, unable to control herself. She feels a rush as she clenches around Colin's cock and knows she's come all over him. Through it all she can hear him guiding her through it, telling her what a good girl she is, and when she finally comes down, she falls forward, limp and pliant as Colin uses her body to finish himself off. 

Once he's done, he pulls out of her gently, and carefully removes the plug. Standing, Colin gently holds Harper within his arms and carries her to his bed laying her down in the soft sheets and kissing her temple. She's still crying, but she's utterly relaxed and free; barely cognizant enough to realize that he's handing her a bottle of water. 

Colin is still naked and is climbing into the other side of the bed. "Drink, Harper, please." 

As Harper drinks, Colin wipes her down with a warm, damp cloth he's brought back with the water. "You did so beautifully tonight, Harper. Watching you come is one of the most exquisite things I've ever seen." 

Once he finishes wiping her down, and she finishes the water, Harper lies down in the crook of Colin's arm. He begins to stroke her hair, gently bringing her down. "My gorgeous girl, beautiful girl," he coos. 

Harper eventually drifts off thinking of how lucky she is to have found someone like Colin. No strings attached, no messy relationship, just this.


	2. The Rain Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper has a bad day. Colin is here to help.

_You are the sunlight in my growing -_  
_So little warmth I've felt before._  
_It isn't hard to watch me glowing -_  
_I watched the fire that grew so low._  
_... Upon us all a little rain must fall._  
**The Rain Song - Led Zeppelin**

 

The beauty of a clear Autumn day in London is lost on Harper as she trudges through the crowds of people on her way home from the office. The red, gold, and brown leaves that blanket the city hold none of their usual allure. Her eyebrows knit together behind her big sunglasses as she refuses to move aside for a man heading against the crowd and straight for her. He finally moves aside with a huff. Harper doesn't care; all she wants is a load of sugar and a cigarette. Her commute is short and she soon makes it to the newsagents near her flat. She grabs a bag of Haribo, pays, and sits on the wall a little further down. She clicks her heels against the stone behind her feet as she picks through the Starmix, avoiding the cola bottles like always. 

Today had been a complete clusterfuck. Harper works as a booking agent for a highly-respected escort agency in London that is known for their discretion. While the job is always stressful, today especially had ended with two clients wanting the same girl on the same night. Both were regulars of the girl in question, and in such an instance the decision would be made discreetly by the girl. However, the girl could not be reached in which case the decision was to be made by the booking agent. Not caring in the slightest, Harper had flipped a coin but the man that lost out was more than unpleasant, hurling insults and threats toward her until building security was called to escort him off the premises. 

Harper didn't always come home feeling so annoyed. There were days that she loved her job. The ladies she booked for were completely glamorous. Beautiful in every way: well-read, smart, gorgeous, rich. Harper loved when they would drop by the office and regale her with stories of their lives. She got to work in a posh office and was rarely bothered by anyone other than the clients who were usually amiable enough to be around. Colin just so happened to be one of the agency's clients which is how he and Harper met. 

Because of the nature of their business, clients are required to make bookings in person. One rainy Monday morning, Colin had come in looking for a date to a charity dinner he was attending that weekend. He had just had a very public break-up, wasn't keen on finding a date within his circle, and was looking to have a bit of fun and stress release. Harper's boss waited outside of her office to greet Colin personally, though once he arrived he was immediately distracted by Harper's politeness toward him. It didn't hurt that she was gorgeous and her smile infected him with a cheerfulness he hadn't felt in a long time. He followed Harper's boss into her office, hopeful that he could somehow get the girl that wasn't on the usual list, but it was a firm no. That didn't stop Colin from asking for her number, and after loads of flowers, gifts, and promises, Harper agreed to the arrangement they have now. 

Taking a deep breath, Harper tries to focus on the now: the smell of damp leaves, exhaust fumes, and the unmistakeable waft of freshly frying chips from the nearby chip shop. She sets her mix down beside her and pulls a cigarette from her bag. Lighting it, she takes a deep pull, enjoying the way it fills her lungs before she slowly exhales, watching the grey smoke billow up and away from her. A mother and child walk past her hand in hand as she takes another drag. She catches the kid staring and Harper raises an eyebrow as she blows the smoke out of the side of her mouth; the kid looks away quickly, clinging tighter to his mother. She rolls her eyes just as her phone buzzes from her bag. Dreading seeing her boss' name on the screen, she's pleasantly surprised to see that it's Colin. 

_-Back in town for a few nights. What's your schedule like?_

_-I'm extremely busy right now, sitting in front of the newsagents eating sweets and smoking a fag._

_-Naughty girl, you'll rot your teeth. Bad day?_

_-I've had better._

_-Poor darling. Do you need Colin to make it better?_

Feeling a mix of excitement and lust pooling in her belly, Harper replies simply: _Yes._

_-I'll be over around 9, my precious girl._

Harper grins giddily, kicks her feet a little and sends a heart-eyes emoji in response. This is the best she's felt all day. 

...

The excitement of seeing Colin, and the orgasms that his visits usually bring, dwindles when Harper gets home and is reminded that her place is a mess. The kitchen is still destroyed from her late night attempt at a new biscuit recipe, a mass of unfolded laundry is piled next to her bed, and her bathroom counter is scattered with make-up and hair products. Sighing, she puts up her hair, changes out of her work clothes, and sets to the task of straightening her flat. 

Two hours later, Harper plugs in her white fairy lights casting a pleasant, twinkling glow over the den. Her flat smells like the cupcake candle she lit earlier to get rid of the smell of burnt biscuits. She takes a look around and is satisfied that the flat looks habitable when she hears a knock at the door. 

Harper groans as she looks down at the old, worn Brentford football shirt and a pair of tiny cotton panties. Of course he would be early and of course she would look a mess. The stress of the day starts to take her over again as she answers the door, bottom lip poked out, and sees Colin standing there looking every inch the dashing hero with a pink Agent Provocateur gift box topped with a black silk bow and a bag from Lush.

"Sweets and cigarettes for tea _and_ a Brentford shirt? Harper you _must_ be having a bad day," Colin says, smirking. 

Apologizing profusely, she stands to the side so he can come in. "I'm so sorry I'm not ready for you, Colin! It's been a horrible day and I forgot that my flat was a mess and-"

Colin strides over and shuts her up with a lingering kiss on the lips. "I need you to stop talking. It's fine this once since you've had a bad day. Let your Colin take care of you." She opens her mouth to respond he but gives her a look. "I said to be quiet."

Harper closes her mouth and smiles at him gratefully, and he gives a small smile in return. The game has begun. 

Walking back to the bags, Colin takes Harper's hand and guides her to the couch. He sits down and pulls her into his lap. "Now, open your gifts. I would have gotten you sweets but you've already had some."

Harper opens up the gift bag to find bubble bath, massage bar, and body lotion all in a scent similar to a cupcake. "Oh, Sir, thank you. It smells so lovely," she coos as she pops the top on the bubble bath and sniffs. 

"Something sweet for my sweet girl," he says, pleased that she likes it. He kisses her on the shoulder before urging her to open the other gift. "Go on, then, Harper." 

"Yes, Sir." Harper leans forward and slides the black ribbons off the edges of the box. The fairy lights reflect against the lid as she pulls it off, revealing the most gorgeous bra, dark blue French lace, embroidered with soft pink beads and sequins, with matching panties. Harper gasps and looks back at Colin for permission to touch what's inside the box. With a small smile he nods and Harper gently pulls the garments out one by one and holds them up before her. "These are so beautiful, thank you so much." 

"You're welcome. What do you say we get you out of this atrocious shirt and these tiny little pants and get you into a bath?" 

"Yes, Sir." Harper sighs contentedly. This is new for them, this comfort play, and she honestly wasn't expecting anything like this when she invited him over tonight. While she can't say she's disappointed, it does give Harper pause for thought. But as Colin puts a hand on her lower back to guide her to her bathroom, a warmth spreads through her and she decides to trust her Colin to make her feel better. 

The bathroom is freshly cleaned and Harper had lit several vanilla-scented candles throughout to counteract the lingering chemical smell of cleaning products. They fill the bathroom with a soft light. Silently, Colin turns Harper toward him, giving her a soft kiss on the lips. He tugs at her shirt, and once it's over her head he drops it and his knees to the floor. Each finger smooths between the fabric of her panties and her skin, slowly lowering them down her legs as he kisses her stomach. Her body shivers as his hands graze the backs of her thighs. Once her panties hit the floor, Colin wraps a warm hand around each ankle, lifting it to slide the panties off completely. He looks up at her and places kisses on her mound, sneaking his tongue inside her lips slightly, causing Harper to gasp. He pulls away then and returns to his feet, leaving her bare and waiting while he turns on the taps and readies her bath with the new things he bought for her. She feels exposed and a shiver passes through her: the floor tiles are cold beneath her feet. She consciously keeps herself from folding her arms in front of her as she watches him kneel beside her soaking tub, checking the water's temperature. Her natural instinct is to tell Colin to stop, that she can do this, that she'll be fine but she knows it's her nerves talking: the peace that comes with letting go and trusting your partner to take care of you is the reason she was so intrigued by this lifestyle. So she straightens her posture and stands resolute, bare for him and for her. 

Once the tub is full Colin looks back at her and beckons Harper forward, arm out and palm open. She places her petite hand within his large, warm one and allows him to help her into the hot, cupcake-scented bubble bath. 

Colin watches her body as it slides in and disappears under the foam. "How's the temperature, Harper?" 

The water is quite hot if Harper is honest, the heat taking her breath away as her body submerges, but she knows she'll get used to it quickly, and sure enough as soon as her arse hits the tub, she's fine. "It's perfect, Sir." 

"Wonderful. Now, rest and get comfortable," Colin says, reaching out to cradle the back of her head as she leans back. He kisses her temple. "I'll be right back, all right?" 

"Yes, Sir," Harper sighs, the hot water already relaxing her muscles and the stress of the day slowly leaving her body. Harper tries to clear her mind and focus on the moment, closing her eyes and sinking lower into the bath. 

Minutes later, she hears Colin's bare feet pad back into the bathroom and smiles. She opens an eye to see that he's removed his suit jacket and has his white dress shirt sleeves rolled up past his elbows. "Feeling any better?" Colin asks as he kneels back down beside her and softly cups the side of her face. 

"Yes, Sir, thank you." 

"You're quite welcome, Harper. Now close your eyes and continue to relax. I want you to stay very very quiet, all right? Sweet girls need quiet time when they've had a bad day." Harper nods, leaning into his palm and slowly closing her eyes. "There's my good girl, my sweet, gorgeous girl." His thumb caresses over her cheek momentarily before his hand starts to traverse slowly down her face, her neck and then under the water. The room is quiet except for the soft sound of the moving water. His hand continues further down until he reaches her breast, cupping, and running his thumb over her nipple. The sting of the hot water appearing then disappearing makes it harden quickly and she has to work to keep from making a noise. She remains calm, quiet, and pliant as his hand moves slowly to the other breast so as not to disturb the water too much. Just before she starts to writhe in the water his hand begins to move lower, lower, until the tip of his finger slips just inside the top of her cunt. She opens her mouth but Colin kisses her temple again. 

"Shhh, shhh, darling girl," Colin coos as he moves his fingers deeper inside her slit and moves his fingers gently through her folds. "Good girls get soft touches and you're being so, so good for me." 

Harper keeps her eyes closed and focuses on her breathing as Colin's talented fingers moving softly over her. She can feel his fingers tease over the slickness gathering there, even under the hot water. Her body feels pulled like a bow, stretched taught with the pleasure he's giving her. His fingers glide within her cunt; his wrist moving against her pubic bone. Colin's lips press against her ear, whispering sweet words. The combined sensations cause her back to arch. Her breasts peak out of the water, the cool air hardening her nipples before they're submerged beneath the water once more. As Harper grows closer to her orgasm cresting, she pulls her lips between her teeth and clenches her fingers against the arm rests in the tub. He enters two fingers inside of her and pumps them while rubbing his thumb against her clit. Softly, Colin commands, "Come for me," and licks the shell of her ear. Arching in response once more, she clenches hard around his fingers. His hand still between her legs, soothing her softly, Colin's free hand supports the back of her neck as she rides out her orgasm in silence as wave after wave crashes over her. 

Harper and Colin kiss leisurely for a few minutes, remaining silent except for the sound of their lips. Colin strokes her hair and her face before reaching down to pull the plug from the water. He stands up, grabs a towel from the rack, and holds out a hand to help her stand. Harper raises herself on wobbly legs, but Colin's hand keeps her steady. He wraps the big, fluffy towel around her and helps her out of the tub and in front of her mirror. Harper marvels at how much calmer she looks, fresh from a lovely bath and an even lovelier orgasm. From behind, Colin expresses a small smile which she returns. 

"Do you want me to brush your hair?" Colin asks before kissing the back of her neck. Harper nods at him in the mirror. She adores it when he brushes her hair which he usually does after their more intense play. Colin pulls the pins out of her hair, releasing the high top knot she had kept in since early this morning. Each pin coming out feels like heaven, the pull on her head slackening until, with the last pin out, her heavy hair cascades fully down her back. "So pretty, my darling," Colin says, running his fingers through the larger tangles before grabbing the soft-bristle brush from Harper's counter and pulling gently it through her hair. He's always so gentle when he does this and the attention causes chills down her spine and gooseflesh to rise on her skin. Once her hair has been thoroughly brushed, Colin sets the brush down and sets to unwrapping the towel from her. "Did you want to try on your other gift, Harper?" 

Harper had almost forgotten about the lingerie that Colin had gotten her but as soon as she is reminded she grows excited. She smiles and nods. "Yes, please, Sir." 

"I've got it laid out on your bed. Once you've dressed I'd like to you come out to the living room. I'll be waiting." Colin kisses her on the forehead, turns away, and leaves. 

Looking at the bra and panty set on the bed, Harper lets her towel drop to the floor. She's feeling peaceful and strong; confident in her body and excited to try on the lingerie for Colin. Harper picks up the knickers, a frilly set with big ribbons tying it together on the sides, and slips them on. She looks in the mirror and is pleased with what she sees. She runs her hands down her sides and over the ribbons holding the garment together and almost contemplates not putting on the bra. It's so pretty, though; she can't bring herself to leave it on the bed. She pulls it on and fastens it together and of course it fits her perfectly; the material hugging her softly and lifting her breasts as if they were an offering to a deity. 

Harper is still buzzing from her last orgasm when she walks out to the living room to see Colin waiting for her on the couch. When he sees her, Colin gives her a look and she turns slowly on the spot to show him the whole ensemble. 

"Exquisite, Harper," he says in his low voice and beckons for her to come sit in his lap. She climbs onto him, her legs off to one side and her head leaning on the opposite shoulder. "How do you like it, my sweet girl?" 

Harper sighs as one hand smooths over her legs as the other plays in her hair. "I love it so much, Sir. It makes me feel very pretty." She curls against him even more while he cuddles and soothes her. 

Colin kisses her ear. "Are you feeling any better about your day?"

She pauses a minute to weigh her answer. She's feeling amazing and safe and protected but if she tells him that will he feel like his job is done and want to go? And why does she care if he does? She's gotten what she wanted, a lovely orgasm and a lovely bath. The answer makes her nervous so she decides for half the truth. "A little." 

A hum rumbles in his throat as he squeezes her closer to him. Harper's eyes close again and she enjoys the warmth seeping from behind his shirt and into her bare skin. She wants to kiss him. "What can I do to make my precious girl feel a lot better?" 

Harper opens her eyes and pulls back a little to look up at him. "Maybe some kisses? Please, Sir?" 

Colin looks into her eyes and she sees a shadow cross before them before he leans down to softly kiss her lips. The kiss is anything but chaste as he peppers them with small kisses before licking her bottom lip slightly. Harper opens for him and his tongue enters slowly, sensually, and she meets him with her own. The kisses turn from soft to hard very fast and Colin quickly moves Harper beneath him on the couch. Her hands are pressed against his chest and she can feel him trying to keep from grinding against her. She begins to moan into his mouth and her fingers claw into his chest through his shirt. Colin growls and pushes the burgeoning erection in his pants hard against her center and holds it there. Harper feels so small beneath him, trapped in between him and his arms. She manoeuvres so that she's able to start unbutton his shirt, unable to go any longer without feeling his bare skin against hers. Her breath comes in sharp gasps when he pulls away and looks down at her with an uncontrolled lust in his eyes, but the lust quickly turns to anger. 

"Safe word, Harper!" Colin says shortly. 

Still breathing heavily, she answers with a quick: "Darcy, Sir."

"Did I give you permission to remove my shirt, Harper?" 

"No, Sir! I'm sorry, Sir. I got carried away," Harper begins, but is cut off by Colin. 

"After all the things I've done for you tonight, you decide to disobey me! Do you know what happens to little girls when they disobey, Harper?" 

"They're punished, Sir. They're spanked! Oh, please, Sir! I promise I'll be good!" Harper can barely contain the excitement she feels at the prospect of a nice spanking. 

"Yes, bad girls are spanked, but my bad girl likes a hard spanking, doesn't she? No, I'm not going to reward you for doing wrong," he says, lifting himself off of her and pulling off his tie. "Get on the table, face down, on your knees, and put your hands behind your back."

Hastily, Harper obeys, first getting on her knees on the table in front of her couch, then bending over and putting her face to the cold wood. She crosses her arms behind her back and Colin is immediately tying his tie around her wrists, binding them together. He then drops to his knees behind her and pulls her new panties down over her arse, the ribbons on the side tickling the sides of her legs. The slight embarrassment she feels at being exposed this way on her table turns her on. She has no time to process what Colin's going to do before he bends forward and starts lapping hungrily at her cunt and arse. She moans loudly but Colin pulls away. 

"I want silence, Harper! Absolute silence, or I'll stop." His hands wrap around her thighs as he waits for her to acknowledge that she's heard him. When she nods he gives a short, "Good girl," and resumes. He is everywhere inside of her, his tongue taking turns swirling around her clit and her asshole. Colin never said she couldn't move so Harper pushes back against his face, wanting more touch, more tongue, more everything. The only sounds in the room is his tongue exploring her greedily and the slick sounds of his face sliding against her wetness. Her second orgasm of the night rolls over her and she arches out to him until she's shaking but he doesn't stop. He continues to lick stripes up and down her until he focuses solely on her clit, sucking it into his mouth and running his tongue over it quickly. Harper has no idea how she's remaining silent as it's too much, too much, but Colin knows her body so well and her third orgasm is the most powerful of all, making tears stream down her face with the effort of keeping her screams of ecstasy inside. 

Once her body calms, Colin stands quickly, untying her and pulling her up to her feet. She wobbles a bit, but he catches her, putting one arm beneath her knees and the other behind her back. He carries her into the bedroom where he lies lays them both down, pulling her into him and whispering soft words into her ear as she collects herself. He pulls a bottle of water conveniently left on her bedside table and has her sit up and drink it once her breathing has calmed. Harper gulps gratefully but lies back down as soon as the bottle is empty. She snuggles back into his side and his arm hugs her tightly to him. 

"Thank you, Sir," Harper says sleepily. She wants to elaborate, to explain how good it made her feel that he took care of her without wanting anything in return, how nice it was that he was here for her today, but she's too relaxed, too spent. She thinks he understands because when she looks at him he's smiling. And hours later, when he kisses her on the cheek, gently waking her before he leaves, she feels that quiet sadness that comes with not wanting someone to go. She's never felt that with Colin and she knows she should be worried but she can't seem to grab the thought before she drifts back off to sleep.


	3. When The Levee Breaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper tries to nip her feelings for Colin in the bud.

_When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move._  
\- **When The Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin**

 

Harper hastily applies her lipstick in the backseat of the cab taking her to Colin's place. The smell of the Magic Tree air freshener hanging in the cabbie's rear view mirror puts her off a bit but she tries to focus on the task at hand. She's avoided texting Colin since their last encounter due to her burgeoning feelings, choosing instead to go out every night she's free to get completely pissed and dance with the cutest boy she can find. Harper has been very successful in pulling attractive men just a bit younger than she is, including what she's pretty sure was the cute one from the boy band currently topping the charts. She fucked him in the loo of the pub, in the cab on the way back to her place, and again on her new couch. Enjoyable though it was, she woke the next morning and gave the boy a fake number, always thinking of Colin. Though she's avoided texting him and had promised herself not to respond immediately if he texts her, she happens to be doing just that. Instead, she's decided tonight there won't be any of this soft and sweet play like the last night they were together. Tonight she will piss him off and things will be back to normal. She will get over this silly infatuation. 

As the cabbie turns down Colin's street, Harper steels herself. She shakes her hair down her back and runs her fingers through it. Her hands press down her fitted tweed pencil-skirt, needlessly smoothing it down her thighs. Rolling her lips together, Harper lets out a sigh when she sees Colin waiting outside his door for her. He looks so handsome in a pair of grey trousers and matching suit jacket; his white dress-shirt tucked in with the top two buttons undone. When the cab comes to a stop, Colin approaches and pays the fare, smiling genially at the cabbie while he opens Harper's door and takes her hand as she exits. The door slams shut again and the taxi drives off, crunching the gravel underneath. 

Harper looks up at Colin to thank him for paying her fare but is shocked to find his face anything but friendly. "Are you all right?" she asks, immediately regretting showing concern. Her cheeks color and he waits a moment before he responds. 

"Inside, Harper." 

"Yes, Sir." Harper turns on the spot, feeling petulant at being addressed in such a sharp manner. Colin's jaw is hard-set, his chin jutting out a little further than usual. She walks inside the study without looking to see if he's following her and stands in front of his desk and waits, her arms folded in front of her. Harper can hear Colin opening and closing his hall closet. When he enters the study his jacket is gone and he is rolling up his sleeves. Her breath quickens at the business-like display he's putting on, as if he were preparing himself for an all-nighter, and she raises her eyebrow at him. 

"Good evening, Harper. So good of you to show up." 

Eyebrow moving even higher, Harper mutters, "So good of you to ask me."

Colin hardly gives her a second glance as he walks around his desk and sits in his leather office chair, well worn and soft as butter with age; Harper knows because she's been tied spread eagle on top of it while Colin made her come until she had cried. "I didn't know if you might be busy. Wouldn't want to disrupt the frivolity of youth," he says flippantly. 

Humming, Harper turns around, arms crossed, and stares down at him. "The frivolity of youth," she says thoughtfully. "Isn't that why you have me here?" 

Hands clasped together, his pointer fingers steepled just in front of his lips, Colin looks her over slowly, giving no visible reaction to what she's said. Seeing him now, Harper's almost forgotten that she's supposed to be focusing on keeping distant and she isn't sure if the goose-flesh on her arms is the chill from the house or his eyes raking over her body. 

Finally, Colin speaks coolly. "Harper. I'd like for you to ready yourself for me. You may use my bathroom. Once you're done, I'd like you to lie naked on my bed.” 

The chill she feels now has nothing to do with the temperature. Harper unfolds her arms, places her hands on his desk, leans across it, and purrs, "Make me." 

She sees a darkness pass over Colin's eyes, though his face never changes. "Excuse me?" 

"I said: Make. Me." After a beat she adds, "Sir." 

Colin stands up so quickly that Harper can feel the air moving around her. There's a new charge in the room and Harper is tingling with excitement. He comes around to stand behind her, pulling her resting hands away from the desk to pin them, one-handed, behind her back. With his free hand, Colin grabs the back of her neck and pushes Harper down to pin the side of her face against the desk. "Try answering that again, Harper. I have given you an order. What are you going to do about it?" 

Throwing herself fully into the scene, Harper wiggles her ass against his trousers; she's pleased to feel an erection forming there. "Nothing. Nothing at all, I don't think." 

"Safe-word, Harper?" 

"Darcy." 

"Very good," Colin mumbles, letting go of her wrists but not her neck. Harper stays down, instinctively knowing that's what he wants. He pulls her skirt up over her ass, pulls down her tights and after rubbing the round cheeks presented to him he spanks them hard. Colin is relentless and fierce, grunting every time his hand meets her skin. Harper cries out. Is it the pain? Is it the ecstasy she feels at having his hands on her? She's no longer sure. Finally, after she's lost count of his strikes, he stops, smoothing his hand over her red bottom. "Are you ready to obey me now, Harper?" 

Harper sniffles and answers in a thick voice. "Yes, Sir." 

"Do you remember what I asked you to do, sweetheart?" 

"Go to your bathroom and get ready and then lie on your bed." 

"Very good, Harper. I knew you were my very good girl." Harper flushes with pride as Colin helps her up off the desk. Her skirt remains over her ass; her tights are still pulled down below it. She reaches to fix herself but Colin stops her. "Leave it." 

Reddening even more at the delicious loss of dignity, Harper utters, "Yes, Sir," and walks quietly from the room. The hallway is colder than his study and she can feel the sting of it on her sore bottom as she makes her way to his en suite. She shuts the door behind her, takes a deep breath, and processes what she's feeling. She's horny, definitely horny. There's a sense of shame there; she loves and expects it from their kind of play. She feels safe. Harper's safety has always been Colin's biggest concern. She knows he would stop if he had to. Harper knows all of this, always reminding herself of it, but there's another feeling. It's making itself known deep within the pit of her stomach combined with a light flutter in her chest. Harper knows exactly what this feeling is, but she refuses to think about it or to allow the words to form fully in her mind. Things must remain as they've always been so Harper dutifully prepares herself, as she always does, for whatever Colin wants from her tonight.

Several minutes have passed when Harper exits the bathroom. The bedroom is warmer than anywhere else in the house so far and as she stands bare before the bed she breathes a sigh of gratitude. His bed is tall, and she pulls herself as gracefully as she can on top of it. As Harper ponders whether she should be sitting or lying down, Colin walks in the room, barefoot, with one of his Italian leather belts bent double in his hand. She decides to wait for him to order her into position, but they sit in silence for a moment and stare at each other. Moments pass. Harper can feel her resolve softening under Colin's gaze. Oh, he's beautiful, isn't he, she thinks to herself. Harper allows her eyes to roam the creases that line his face, then to the several days old stubble that covers his jaw. Even when she was a young girl watching him on the small telly in her room, she found him to be ruggedly handsome. How lucky is she to be able to have him like this? To have him be hers for this short amount of time. As her eyes move down his body, Harper wonders what it would be like to have him all of the time? To lie next to him every night, to awake with his arms around her. Harper's thoughts are broken when Colin's large hand cups her face and she moves her eyes to meet his. 

"What are you thinking, Harper?" 

She blushes and glances down at a space on the floor behind him. "Nothing," she mutters, trying to shake the feelings of fondness for this beautiful man standing in front of her. His kindness is not helping. Harper takes a deep breath and looks up at him. "Nothing," she says stronger, more sure than before. 

Colin stares at her for a moment before speaking. "I believe I've told you not to lie to me." His hand slides gently from her face and to his side. "Harper, I want you to stand in front of the bed and bend over it." He almost sounds disappointed but Harper chooses not to focus on that. He backs up to allow her room and she does as she's told, sliding into position, balancing on her toes. "Have I ever told you how lovely your arse is? Especially when you're on your toes like this." Colin runs his hand down the middle of Harper's back and stops just above her bottom. "Especially when my hand prints are all over it." He sighs. "Beautiful, Harper." 

Harper shudders, sighing in contentment at his soft touches and his kind words. "Thank you, Sir."

"Too bad my sweet, beautiful girl has been naughty this week. Did you know that I saw you out on Thursday evening?" Colin sounds neither mad or disappointed. In fact, he sounds quite gleeful as Harper stiffens beneath his hand. They don't have any kind of pact to stay true to each other. Indeed, Colin is constantly seen out with other women, but Harper still feels a twinge of guilt. She is meant to be his. 

Despite that guilt, Harper decides to stay strong. "No, Sir, I didn't know." 

"No, I don't suppose that you would have, with your tongue down that poor young man's throat." Colin squeezes her ass gently before swatting it with the belt. Harper gasps, sore from before, but she's more interested in where he's going with this than she is in the pain. Colin hums at her response. "You looked like you were rather enjoying yourself. Were you?" Harper is at a loss of what to say. She realizes she has been silent for too long as Colin whips against the meatiest part of her. "I asked you a question, Harper," he says, a warning in his voice that contradicts the gentleness with which he smooths his hand over her stinging skin. 

Might as well go with the truth. "Yes, Sir." 

Still rubbing the welt rising on her bottom, Colin sighs thoughtfully. "I thought so. How many times did he make you come?" 

Harper wonders again where this is heading. They've never spoken about each other's dalliances outside of their agreement so why is he bothering now? She thinks it's quite rich of him if he's jealous; he's been with more women in a few months than she's been with in her entire life. With a fire in her voice she answers with confidence. "Three." After a beat she adds, "Sir." 

"Three? Well, now," Colin says as he slides the cool leather across her hot skin. "Aren't we the little overachiever? I think we can do better than that though, don't you think?" 

Biting her lip, Harper tries to gather her courage before she answers. "You can try, Sir." His sharp exhale shows that she's gotten to him and she smiles into the duvet. 

Composing himself, Colin coos, "I don't need to try, darling. Safe word?" 

Harper knows she's gotten him right where she wants him. "Darcy, Sir." 

"Very good," Colin mumbles, his fingers smoothing between her cheeks and down to her dripping heat. "So wet already." He enters two fingers inside of her, pumping them a few times before sliding them upward toward her tight ring of muscle, spreading her wetness around it. He removes his fingers and instantly replaces them with his tongue, licking greedily. 

Panting heavily, Harper can barely balance. She swears her toes are asleep. Colin's hungry lapping coming from behind her is the only thing distracting her from the pain. He smooths his fingers to her clit, swirling around it; his tender touch drives her mad. "Christ, Sir!" Harper all but weeps. "Fuck," she breathes, lingering on the word, "you feel so good. So good, Sir." He continues his merciless invasion of her most private areas until Harper's orgasm swells within her. As she comes, hard, she uses the little energy that remains inside of her to prevent his name from pouring out of her mouth. 

Colin growls into her as he feels her pulse around his tongue. Once she stops, he pulls away slowly. "Did he eat your arse, Harper?" he asks, standing behind her and wiping his face. "Does he know how you like a tongue on your arse and a rough finger on your clit?" 

"No, Sir," Harper pants. She's half-mad with orgasm and half-scared that he'll see her confession as feelings, but the words keep pouring out. "No one knows; no one knows but you," she wails. Her toes finally lose their battle and she falls on her heels, the edge of the bed just under her breasts now instead of where she naturally bends double. 

"No slipping, Harper!" Colin says, sounding half-mad himself. He pulls a small block from under his bed for her to stand on, pushing her up on the bed again as he guides her feet to the block. Harper's relief is short-lived, though, as her grateful groan quickly turns to a shocked squeal as Colin's belt cracks against her bottom again. "Count them, Harper. Count them for me." Harper counts out eight before she no longer feels the pain, only endorphins coursing through her as she counts higher and higher. Finally, Colin stops and she hears the belt buckle clatter to the hard, wooden floor. 

Harper feels as if she's flying when Colin lifts her back up on the bed, reveling in the feeling of his arms wrapped protectively around her. Once nestled comfortably, Colin removes his clothes. He climbs in himself and crawls on top of her, tenderly kissing her body on his way up to her mouth. Harper's chest rises and falls with her heavy breathing. Tears leak from the corner of her eyes, soaking the pillow beneath her. She cries out when his teeth close over a nipple, his tongue flicking over it quickly. Colin's hands roam over her soft, warm skin, squeezing her thighs, brushing over her sides to her breasts. He cups her face tenderly in both hands and kisses her afterwards, once, twice, before he licks the inside of her top lip, asking for entrance. Harper grants it. She is unable to stop her arms from wrapping around him, pulling him closer to her, his bare chest pressed against hers. For a second, Harper doesn't care if he can tell, neither does she care if he knows; she just needs to feel him, needs to hold his warm body to hers, needs to have him here with her in this moment. How grateful she is that his tongue is in her mouth and stemming the flow of words that long to be said. Colin's eyes are closed as he kisses her deeply, little moans escaping from him as his tongue moves in her mouth. Oh, and there's that feeling in her stomach, more than subspace, more than post-orgasm bliss. Suddenly, Colin pulls away, opening his eyes slowly to gaze down upon her. Terrified he can read her mind, Harper blushes and turns away. 

"Are we shy now? Since when has my naughty girl been shy?" Colin's voice is rougher than before and there's a tinge of something there. Does he know? Can he tell? "I think I'll have to fuck that right out of you, Harper. What have I told you about turning away from me?" 

"Not to do it, Sir," Harper whimpers, still crying from earlier. "Please fuck me, Sir. I've been so bad, so bad." And indeed she has. She's really fucked this one up but, God, does she want his cock inside her right now. 

"Since you beg so nicely." With that, Colin guides her onto her stomach, placing her feet on his thighs and pulling her toward him by her hips; her cunt is in the air in front of him. He bends down to gently kiss the light welts rising from her skin from his belt so tenderly that Harper sheds fresh tears. "So good for me, darling girl," Colin coos as he straightens himself up, takes his cock within his hand and slides easily, slowly into Harper. 

Harper sighs as she can feel her cunt giving way to his cock, spreading so easily for him. "God, Sir, you feel so nice, so good," she says softly as he begins a slow rhythm. She grips the pillow beneath her face and bites her lip, focusing on how good he feels. 

"Do you know how beautiful you look with my cock gliding in and out of you?" Harper hums in response as Colin chuckles. "I know, it feels good, doesn't it? Do I feel better than he did, Harper?" He gives a quick thrust and swivel of his hips, hitting that spot inside of her as he does. 

There's no question in Harper's mind and she answers swiftly. "Yes, Sir, yes!" 

"Say it!" Colin shouts, grabbing at her hips and pulling her onto him roughly. 

"You're so much better, Sir. So good, so good," she sobs. 

"Did you think of me while he was fucking you? Did you think of me when you came on his cock?" Colin sets a punishing rhythm now, pulling her harder against him. Harper is overwhelmed a little at what she's feeling. When she doesn't answer, Colin pulls her up by her hair so that her back is flush with his chest, his dick still deep within her. With one hand on her waist and one in her hair he commands, "Answer me!" 

"Yes! I thought of you! It's always you! Oh God, please, harder! Harder!" Harper sobs at her confession, scared it may reveal too much and make him stop, but Colin keeps on, humming in appreciation, pulling her tighter to him. 

"Good girl," Colin says, and she can hear the smile in his voice. The hand on her waist glides down to her clit. His fingers circle it like before. Harper cries out through another orgasm. She can't seem to stop crying. It's too much yet never enough. "Perfect, Harper. Come for me." Colin continues to rub her clit and pound into her. Before Harper can come down she's arching again, her body taut with yet another orgasm. 

"God! I can't! I can't! It's too much," Harper sobs, as Colin holds her up with his free arm. 

He takes pity on her and lays them both down on their sides, his cock still within her from behind. "None of those are your safe-word, Harper." 

As sensitive as Harper is, she trusts Colin and knows he'll take care of her. She also knows she wants him to take care of her and for that reason she should safe-word out but she doesn't. She can't. Harper could probably use a glass of water and a break but the thought of his dick being outside of her body is the worst thing that could happen right now. "No, Sir," Harper pants. "They're not." She sniffles. "Please keep fucking me." 

 

Colin puts an arm under her top leg, bending it, her knee almost up to her face. His hand rests gently around Harper's neck, the other hand supporting her head. He starts to move again, this time even harder than before. "I want you to touch yourself, Harper. Show me how you touch yourself when you think of me." 

Hastening to obey, Harper begins first by pinching her nipple with her left hand before sliding it down to her swollen, over-worked clit. It's almost numb from overuse but Harper has felt that before and knows she can come again, especially with Colin hitting that perfect spot within her. 

"Beautiful, Harper," Colin says, watching her hand work over herself as he kisses the leg he's holding aloft. 

Whimpering, Harper focuses solely on the sensations she's feeling. Colin's hot, thick cock relentlessly moving within her, her breasts bouncing with the force of it. Her small, soft fingers deftly circle over her clit, bringing her closer, closer. Colin pulls her face to his suddenly, shoving his fingers inside of her mouth as she cries around them. Harper's lips look so beautiful and full around his fingers that he needs to kiss her - and roughly. It's exactly what Harper has desired. Colin is everywhere - his tongue works against hers; her head is heavy and her ears like cotton-wool from her previous orgasms; her heart swells for him; her cunt, full - and for the fourth time that night she's coming. Her head twists away from Colin as she gushes around him and cries out. "Colin! Colin, oh my God," she screams, unable to control herself. So lost is she in her ecstasy, Harper doesn't realize she's called out his name. Neither does she notice the look on his face when she does so or how his hold becomes just that little bit tighter, comforting, as their bodies entwine and his come mixes with hers.

As they both come down, Harper's body feels as if it'll never move again, but inside her heart and mind are aflame with thoughts of Colin. She burns for him, she knows that now. These feelings aren't going away. She thinks of their agreement and knows what she has to do. 

Colin's hand traces shapes on her stomach as he looks down at her and smiles his silly smile, his curly hair up in every direction. "Fancy a bath?" 

There are so many things that Harper wants to say, things that she needs to say, but surely there will be another time for that. She nods to herself more than to Colin and says, "Yeah, a bath sounds nice," and follows him shaky-legged into the bathroom.


	4. Fool In The Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A role-reversal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some consensual tying up.

_I hate to think I've been blinded baby, why can't I see you tonight?_   
**Fool In The Rain - Led Zeppelin**

Harper loves and has loved many men in her life. She loves her father, the manager of a bank who is always buying her things and making sure she lives in the best flats. She loves her grandfather, who calls her every Saturday morning and talks about everything he's read in The Times. She's loved all of her ex-boyfriends, in one way or another, and even though she's had her heart broken her fair share, she has never lost the ability to fall in love. As it stands now, she wishes that she had. Harper believes she is falling in love with Colin, and there's nothing she can do to stop it. When they made their agreement in the beginning, he was adamant that it was strictly play. Colin couldn't be her boyfriend. Harper had accepted that, had been relieved by that, because she wasn't looking for anything serious. Now she knows she was foolish to believe that she could share so much with him, trust and intimacy, and not fall for him completely. How unfair it is that with love blooming new in her heart, she must feel afraid of it. And so, Harper decides the best course of action is to avoid all contact. With 'no strings attached' she knows she doesn't owe him an explanation, but that doesn't stop her from feeling horrible about it. Every time he texts her she comes up with a lie as to why she can't see him: she's out to dinner with her mom, she's working late, she's celebrating a friend's birthday. A couple of months pass and the time between texts becomes longer. 

Today, the early spring light shines through the windows that line the path to her desk. The sound of Harper's pointy-toe flats click-clacking on the hard, black marble floor echo through the hallway. The sound has always been equated to adulthood in her mind: the sound of her mother leaving the house with her father for some glamorous party to do with her father's work, the sound of tellers in her father's bank, the sound of her father leaving her room after kissing her goodnight. She shakes the memories from her head as she places her purse on her desk and heads to the tea station. Harper fills the kettle, flips it on, places a teabag in her mug, and powers up her phone to scroll through The Daily Mail while the water heats up. The site loads quickly and Harper splutters, almost dropping her phone.

'LIFTING THE CURTAIN: CHERRIE DANE TELLS ALL IN NEW BOOK' 

Underneath the headline was a collage of pap shots of several actors and musicians looking caught out, but the only face Harper could focus on was Colin's. She knew Colin had dated Cherrie Dane as they were all over the tabloids. Their breakup had to have sold millions of magazines in Britain alone. Harper was almost scared to read the article but she scrolled down anyway and her wide eyes only got more narrow the further she went down. There were tiny sentences about different men, some of which were clients, but the biggest bit was about Colin. 

"Cherrie's eyes light up when asked if Colin is mentioned in her book: 'My Colin liked all sorts of dirty things. I think the world will be surprised to see what their sweetheart is really like.' When asked if she could give us a preview, she coyly replies, 'but then why would you buy my book?' LIFTING THE CURTAIN WILL BE IN STORES THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON."

Harper mutters to herself as the kettle clicks and pours the water into her mug. "Her Colin. Seriously." Walking to her desk, balancing her mug and her phone in one hand, she pulls out her chair and takes a seat behind her computer. She shakes her mouse with her free hand and her screen comes to life. The heat from her mug alerts her that she's still holding it with her phone balanced on top so she sets them both down before looking at her appointments for the day. Harper's first appointment isn't for another hour so she strategically sets up her phone so that her boss can't see it and starts looking for more on the scandal. From what Harper can see, Colin seems to be the biggest focus in Cherrie’s book as her relationship with him was the most recent and the most high profile by far. The news outlets for the most part seemed to be sympathetic to Colin, which both pleases and disappoints Harper: on one hand, it’s none of anyone's business what he got up to behind closed doors and Cherrie should have never said anything. On the other hand, of course they would side with a man. After an hour of searching the net and full of conflicting feelings, Harper's first client arrives and she sets to the task of matching him with an escort.

Harper leaves work early today to have a late lunch with her mother, Helen. In the twenty-six years that Harper had been eating at the Bedivere with her mother and father, it had always been freezing inside. Even dressed for the colder than usual weather they were experiencing this Christmas, she still feels unprepared for the seemingly arctic temperatures as her stocking, sock, and boot covered feet bounce under the table in an attempt to keep warm. Her mother sits primly across the table, as always unbothered by the cold. Harper lets a breath out through her nose as she watches her mother order them both a tea from the handsome young waiter.

The waiter walks away and Harper's mom gives her a sharp look. "What is wrong with you today? You seem out of sorts," she says shortly. 

Harper does her best to not roll her eyes. "Nothing, Mum. It's just bleeding cold in here, is all."

"Language, Harper. How was your fish?" 

Harper squeezes her legs together to try and chase some sort of warmth as she answers her mother with a flat voice. "Fishy." 

"Quite. Now tell mummy what's wrong, dear. I gave birth to you, I know you better than you think." Harper actually does roll her eyes now. "Don't you roll your eyes at me, young lady. Is it work? Is Cecile giving you a hard time again?"

"No, mum, I promise everything is fine."

"I knew I shouldn't have gotten you a job with that daft cow," Helen whispers to herself, her eyes rolling exactly as her daughter's had moments ago. "She was an insufferable know-it-all in school." 

Reaching a hand across the table, Harper shushes her mom with a touch to her arm. Keeping her voice low she says, "Mum, it's not work, it's fine. I'm just having some boy troubles, is all." 

Helen's eyes snap immediately to Harper's. "BOY troubles?" She asks, a bit too loud. 

"Mum!"

"I had no idea you were seeing someone! Who is it? Do I know him? Is it Rory? Oh please, tell me it's Rory. That boy has been in love with you since you were babies!" Helen whispers dramatically, clutching her chest and reaching for Harper's hand across the table. Rory has been her best friend since she was young, and their mothers best friends since they were even younger. 

"Mum, please!" Harper whispers just as dramatically, scooting closer to Helen so they can keep it down. "It's not Rory. It's just a guy I met at work." Immediately she knew that was the wrong thing to say. 

Helen's face was horrified. "Harper, please tell me you're not dating a John!" 

"A John! Mum, Jesus, what decade is this?" Harper holds her face in her hands and takes a breath to collect herself. "He's just an older bloke I met in the building, although it would ease the blow significantly if I was getting paid to have my heart broken."

Helen's worried face instantly changes into one of defense. "He's older?! Who is he? Do I know him?"

Harper takes a second to marvel at her mother's quick turn around of feelings and tries to think of an answer that isn't, ‘Yes, it's Colin Firth and he's very good at spanking me while taking me from behind. Also a woman he was with is writing a tell all about him, isn't that just wonderful?' Instead she keeps it simple. "You don't know him." 

"Does he not return your affections then? Who wouldn't love my beautiful Harper?" She asks, scandalized. "What's wrong with him, then?" 

Smiling indulgently at her mother, she removes her napkin from her lap. "Nothing's wrong with him. I just don't think he cares for me the same way. We were only seeing each other casually, at least that's what we agreed to. I'm thinking I'm going to end it soon as I don't feel up to a one-sided relationship just now." 

"It's probably for the best. Who knows how much longer he'll be able to get it up for?" Helen says as the waiter, cheeks aflame, hands them their tea. "Thank you, young man." Harper laughs, feeling a surging fondness for her mother until she speaks again. "Speaking of getting hard, your father has just been prescribed those blasted pills and it's been a nightmare. I can't go a day without him trying to get it in." 

Harper spills her tea on the table. "Christ, mum, that's grim! I don't want to hear about you and dad."

"Well you've just told me about your casual liaisons so I assumed it was fair game. I apologize dear," Helen says, dripping sarcasm. "So, have you heard the news about Colin Firth and Cherrie Dane? I can't wait to read her book. Might give me something to think about when your dad's getting his end away -"

...

Harper can still feel the Earl Grey in her nose as she climbs the stairs to her floor. She startles at first to see a strange man leaning against her door, but having learned discretion in her line of business, she doesn't make a sound once she realizes it's Colin looming over her entrance. She gives him a meaningful look as she unlocks the door, allows him to enter, and follows closely behind. 

Colin takes a deep breath before speaking, his back still to Harper. "I didn't have anywhere else to go." 

"What a flattering thing to say," Harper teases, placing her bag on the counter of her kitchen and walking up behind him. She places her hand gently between his shoulder blades, rubbing in small circles before guiding him to face her. 

"I'm sorry," Colin breathes out, looking like a lost puppy. "I mean I didn't have a safe place to go without the press bloody following me -"

Harper holds a hand up to stop him. "I'm only joking, you're always welcome here." She tries not to think about how much she means it. "How are you?" Colin remains silent. Looking in his eyes is enough for Harper to suss out how he must be feeling. She sees embarrassment in the lines of his face, and she wants nothing more than to pull him into her and kiss it all away. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want. Do you want to come sit down? Would you like a drink? I'm fresh out of scotch but I can make some tea?" Colin nods, his long legs taking him quickly to her settee. 

Bustling about the kitchen, Harper flips her kettle on, pulls down two mugs, and places a bag in both. 

The Colin that Harper is convinced she loves is always ready to crack a joke: self-deprecating one liners that make Harper roll her eyes, cheeky little comments, and always with a little sparkle in his eye. All of that is gone now, replaced with an anxiety she can taste in the tepid air in her apartment. Harper can't stand to see him this way. As she sips her tea, she watches him as he stares at the twinkling lights on her wall wondering what she could possibly do for him. She mulls over in her mind what she likes done for her when she's sad and it hits her. "Colin?" 

Startled at her tone, he looks at her a bit wide-eyed. "Yes?"

Trying to keep her voice level and innocent, Harper asks, "You know what makes me feel better when I'm feeling bad?" 

Colin raises an eyebrow. "What's that?"

Harper bites her lip for a second to think of how to phrase it. She decides to be blunt. "For you to tie me up, drive me insane with your tongue and your fingers, and then fuck me with your beautiful cock until I cry. If you like, I can do the same for you. I mean aside from the cock part," Harper adds, smirking, satisfied when Colin's eyebrows seem likely to disappear into his hairline. "Well?" She asks, her voice slightly shaking with amusement. "Would you like the patented Harper treatment?"

Colin finally cracks a smile. "Do your worst." 

And that is how Colin and Harper end up on her bed, his wrists tied to her headboard, both wearing only their underwear. It had been slow-going in the beginning: Harper had tried to assert her dominance between lips quivering with the threat of giggles. She had asked Colin for a safe-word and lightly slapped him across the face when he said he didn't need one which caused both of their withheld laughter to burst from them. 

"You have to have one, Colin!" Harper exclaims, wiping a tear of laughter from her eye. "I don't make the rules!" 

Colin calms himself a lot faster than Harper and says through a smirk, "I don't think I have anything to worry about, sweetheart, if that slap was any indication." 

"How dare you! I just don't want to mess up your gorgeous face." 

"Funny, I have no problem messing up your gorgeous arse." 

Which had given Harper the nudge she needed in the right direction. She's teased Colin seemingly to the point of panic, kissing, sucking, and caressing everything but his cock and balls. Currently, Harper's panties are balled up in Colin's mouth, muffling his swears and pants. Sweat has pooled in the hollow of his neck; the moisture glitters in the red afternoon sunlight as she straddles his chest, riding her own fingers, dripping wetness down onto him. Harper can feel herself getting close. Watching him writhe beneath her, helpless to relieve the lust she can feel vibrating through him, is a heady feeling. 

"I'm so close, Colin. So so close to coming on my fingers." Harper stops talking to finger herself more, making sure to make as much noise as possible. "God, can you hear how wet I am? Fuck, you get me so hot." Harper loves dirty talk, loves when Colin tells her how she makes him feel. Returning the sentiment was hard at first, but now she finds the words flow easily. Colin answers by pulling harder on his restraints; she can see the red marks around his wrist from his struggling. "Do you want me to untie you? Do you want me to let you go so you can bend me over the dresser and fuck me for being such a bad girl? Or should I just come right here in front of you? Leave you here with your cock leaking, begging to be ridden." Harper feels the familiar stirring low in her stomach that signals the beginning of her orgasm just as Colin growls around her panties. His eyes are hooded with lust and Harper looks straight into them and comes around her fingers, panting his name. As soon as she's done, she pulls her panties out of his mouth and replaces them with her wet fingers. Colin licks and sucks at them greedily, cleaning every bit of her off of them.

"Such a good boy," Harper coos. "So good for me." Colin makes a pained noise as Harper removes her fingers from his mouth and caresses his cheek. She feels powerful, straddling his chest, rising and falling with his ragged breaths. Harper's hips move in tiny, mindless circles; she feels in control and thinks for a moment what she wants Colin to do next. She could get him to eat her out until she cries, ride his face until he’s gasping for air, and it would feel nice, but is that really what she wants? Harper realizes that this should be about the both of them, something they can both derive pleasure from, but she decides to be selfish. She takes a deep breath. "Colin, I'm going to untie you now, but I'm still in charge. Do you understand?" 

Colin squirms beneath her, letting out a breathless, "Yes." 

Harper raises an eyebrow. "Yes, what?"

"Yes, ma'am." Colin's eyes follow Harper's hands as they reach to untie him from the bed frame. She pulls a bit of the soft rope out of the knot, their mingled breaths and the slide of rope against itself the only sound in the room. Once his hands are free, Harper guides them to her breasts and pushes them against her, leaning down and kissing him softly on the lips. Colin's thumbs move softly against Harper's nipples as he follows her face with his when she moves back, wanting more contact. 

"I want you to fuck me as hard as you can, Colin," Harper says matter-of-factly, smirking as he nods quickly. She takes a moment to gather her courage and then looks him in the eye. "I want you to face me, and I want you to tell me how much you want it, how it feels for you, how much you're enjoying it. And when you come I want your eyes open and looking at me." 

Colin lets out a shaky breath and nods again. "Yes, Harper. Yes." 

It's incredibly intense. Colin flips their positions and worships Harper with his hands and mouth, leaving no part of her body untouched. He comments over his favorite parts of her, detailing why and how much he enjoys them. He turns her over and mouths over her back, and down to her ass, which he takes ample time with and has the most to say about. Harper's body has long since melted into the bed by the time Colin gently turns her over. Crawling on top of her, he kisses her deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth and lips. Harper is so lost in him, so in love with him, that she can't do anything but kiss him back. Without removing his lips he moves his hand down to her cunt, dipping his fingers inside of her to feel her dripping. "I love when you're wet for me, Harper. I love feeling the effect I have on you." He grinds his hard as steel erection against her leg. "The effect we have on each other." He punctuates each sentence with a lingering kiss to her swollen lips. "You're so good to me, my darling. So gorgeous for me."

"Yes, Colin, for you, yes," Harper keens, trying to push herself against his fingers. Although she's unsure of the sincerity of his words, she allows everything he's saying to go right to her heart and course through her veins. Harper told him to do this, gave him an order, but for a shining moment she pretends it's real. 

Colin growls deep in his chest at her words, at her obvious desperation to have him inside of her. "Are you ready, my darling Harper?" 

Unable to respond, Harper nods her head, feeling sweat drip from her collarbone to the back of her neck. 

Colin reaches down and guides himself into her and it's a revelation watching his face as he slides home. His eyes are hooded but intense as he pulls out and thrusts back in with a small whine she rarely hears from him. They breathe into each other's mouths, never breaking eye contact. Harper smooths her hands up from his shoulders, where she had clung to him, to his cheeks, feeling the roughness of his facial hair beneath her soft hands. Colin breaks eye contact for a moment to look down at where their bodies are joined together. When he looks back up his eyes are softer and Harper thinks if she searches deep enough she could find love there. She clings to that hope, that feeling as Colin moves inside her, Harper's name on his lips like a prayer. Harper wraps herself around him, arms and legs, trying to pull him deeper inside of her. She wants to keep him here like this forever, tangled and sweaty on her bed. A small part of her knows that this is fleeting, that this is an agreement, that this isn't real. She pushes those thoughts aside like swatting away a persistent gnat and allows herself to memorize every touch, every word, every thrust. 

They don't come together but it's a very near thing. Colin isn't startled to find Harper with tears in her eyes. "Aren't I supposed to be the one crying?" 

Harper, still trying to catch her breath, laughs breathily and lightly slaps his sweaty chest. "I guess I'm not as good as you are." 

"You're perfect, Harper," Colin says with a fond smile. Harper expects he'll be gone in the morning before she wakes, off to face whatever is waiting for him outside, so she smiles and wraps herself up in his words as they drift to sleep in each other's arms.

***

Colin doesn't leave.

When the faint light of sunrise begins to wash over her bedroom through her window, Harper feels warm hands caressing her bare hips. She slowly opens her eyes to see Colin smiling sleepily at her. 

"I wasn't ready to leave yet," Colin says, his voice raspy with sleep. 

Harper reaches out for him to pull him closer, kissing him when there's little space left between them. For a while they kiss softly as the sun's color turns the light in the room from cool to warm, exploring each other's bodies tenderly and without urgency. Harper pushes him gently from his side to his back, climbing on top of him without breaking their lips' contact. She feels Colin's erection insistent against her lower back and she carefully moves back to impale herself slowly on it, his hands guiding her down. No words are spoken and the only sound in the chilly room is skin sliding against skin, the slick sounds from where they're joined together, and their breaths, quick but not labored. 

Harper doesn't finish, she isn't aiming for that, but when Colin does he whispers her name, gripping her hips hard enough to leave a mark. Harper puts her hands over his, feeling him spend himself inside of her and knowing that this isn't going to work for her anymore. She loves him, and for the first time in her life she curses herself for how easy it is for her to fall like this.


End file.
